Thursday, October 21, 2010

Life's Little Miracles

     It has taken me quite a while to try and put these feelings into words. Even now, the words I have finally chosen can never quite express the gratitude and happiness I feel about what I want to share today. I feel so truly blessed to say that I am PREGNANT. Renny and I are going to have our second baby! I am 10 weeks and 1 day... due May 18th.
9 weeks: yikes! I don't think I looked like this until 20 weeks with Teagan!
10 weeks, 1 day
     Getting pregnant has been a long and difficult journey. We tried for 13 months, had 1 miscarriage, and infertility treatments in order to conceive Teagan. Just after Teagan turned one, we started talking about trying again since we knew it would probably take a while. In March, I decided to go back to my doctor and have her check me out and I'm so glad I did! The cyst I had on my right ovary had grown larger than the ovary itself, making it even more difficult to conceive. The doctor suggested I have surgery to remove it, so I scheduled the procedure for the beginning of April. The surgery ended up being more complicated than cyst ruptured, I had another cyst on my left side that hadn't shown up on ultrasound, and I was covered with Endometriosis that had closed both of my fallopian tubes. They were 100% blocked. While I was in recovery, the doctor told Renny that because my tubes were both blocked we had a 99% chance of needing in vitro fertilization to have a baby.
     Definitely not the news we wanted to hear. I began praying about the situation and for the first time, I truly gave this burden over to God. I felt so incredibly blessed to have a daughter that I almost felt like I was asking too much to have another baby. Why did I deserve to, when so many other women cannot? I prayed for strength to be prepared for whatever outcome the Lord had planned. I saw my doctor a week later for a post op appointment and she told me that there was one last test she wanted to try before sending me to the IVF specialist. The name of the test is somewhere around 10 syllables, but basically they attempt to force a type of dye thru the fallopian tubes, flushing them out and opening them up. I knew what to expect because I had done this before getting pregnant with Teagan. (My right tube had been closed since trying to get pregnant with Teagan) The test is time sensitive with your cycle, so I knew it would take a bit of time before I could do it. I continued to pray and pray and pray, until I really felt the weight lift off my shoulders. I was ready to be satisfied with having only one child.
     The day came to have the test done, and I prayed the entire way to the hospital. The doctor who did the test was very nice. He talked to me the entire time and wanted to know how I came to need this test. At the end, he showed me the x-ray film and said, "well Amber, I'm not sure what happened in the month since your surgery, but both of your tubes are completely clear."
     "Excuse me? What did you say?" was my reaction and upon hearing him repeat his previous sentence, a tear began to run down my face. (weird, I know, but I am an ugly crier, haha! No one needs to see that) PRAISE GOD! I absolutely hate crying in front of people, so I did my best to thank him and get to my car quickly. Then I preceded to cry tears of happiness and thankfulness the whole drive home. I prayed, praising and thanking God for this miracle the entire way and didn't even stop to call Renny and tell him the news! When I called him, he couldn't believe it either. I called my doctor and let her know and when I went back to see her she reviewed the results and gave us the go ahead to try on our own for 3 months before we looked into any infertility treatments.
     Try we did for a month, a second month, and a third month with no positive pregnancy test. I would like to say that this didn't get me down, but I would be a liar. It was disappointing, but I just kept praying for the Lord to give us a baby or give me the strength to realize it wasn't going to happen. Renny and I talked and decided to just try another month before trying anything else. I still made an appointment with my doctor to explore our options, but she couldn't see me for another month anyway.
     Three days before I was scheduled to see the doctor about infertility treatments, I took a pregnancy test. It came back POSITIVE! Another miracle! More tears, but luckily Renny promised to love me forever, even if I am an ugly crier :) I am now 10 weeks and 1 day pregnant. There hasn't been a day that has past that I haven't thanked God for allowing us to have another child. Sometimes I still want to cry, I am so happy. Miracles do happen and God is always responsible for them.
     Thank you, thank you, thank you Jesus for this opportunity. I can't wait to meet my new son/daughter next year!


Andi said...

Amber, I am sooo happy for you. THis truly is a miracle and am sooooo happy and excited to hear these amazing stories. It just reminds me of how gracious God is. Have you had a first ultrasound yet?? I know what you mean about your belly popping out. It seems like with the second pregnancy that your uterus and body justs remembers and pops out right away. I'll be praying for your little peanut and hope you are feeling better and more energized. See you soon.

Out of SPACE -- out of TIME said...

OMG this is such an awesome story Amber. It gave me goose bumps just to read. I am so happy for you both and for little T also. Your little belly is so cute and is getting big fast.

C.B. Michaels said...

I cam finally leave u comments and ask how u r feeling! Im so incredibly happy for u sweetie! U r an incredible mommy and I truly believe Gods given u another baby because one of his little angels deserves a mommy and daddy like the two of u! Congratulations hunny! God is amazing! Love u! Oh! And BTW I've seen u cry a few times in our younger days, u r so not an ugly crier! Xoxo can't wait to hear sooooon what u r having!

maria said...

Gosh I don't even know where to start and how very happy I am for u. You made me cry, just reading this whole story of everything u did to make it has come to my realization that everything does happen in the hands of God...May u be happy because u are truly blessed...always always look to God and now that u have, my gosh did he answer. Now all of u can have ur kids grow up together! Love u and ur mom. She's a grandma again!

Mary LeMonnier said...

Congratulations again, Amber!! Thank you for sharing your path to pregnancy. I was completely bawling (emotional preggers girl). Our children our such blessings, and I think that going through more to get them just makes you that much more thankful to have them. Yeah to number 2!! And I hear you on the belly thing...I look like I did at 5 months with Alice!